Gaming for the Weekend – Behold the Kickmen

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In Last Word on Gaming’s second installment of ‘Gaming for the Weekend’ I have chosen Size Five Games’ Behold the Kickmen. Each week one of the team will select a game that they enjoy and have to hand for short gaming sessions.

Behold the Kickmen – Gaming for the Weekend Part 2

Anti Football?

I first discovered Behold the Kickmen in the summer of 2020. A football game or rather an anti football game! Rules are thrown out of the window as is the pitch which is now round. Shooting from as far away as possible will get you more goals and the offside rule will not cause you any issues here! The one thing that does remain the same is that scoring goals wins matches.

Gaming for the Weekend
The pitch is….round?

How Did the Game Come About?

Behold the Kickmen started life as a joke on Twitter. Dan Marshall who is the games’ developer hates football and claimed he knew very little about the sport so set about making a game that reflected that fact. The thing is that what he created in a year is actually a really fun game and perfect for those shorter gaming sessions.

Gaming for the Weekend Recommends Behold the Kickmen

The game is so simple to pick up and play. You can make the sort of tackles that would get you a red card in FIFA and get away with it and the ball never goes out of play. It is a single player game and it will have you laughing out load – be warned the game does contain some profanities!

Gaming for the Weekend
Fouls will NOT be penalised here!

I would describe the game as a throw back to the classic Speedball and Speedball 2 and if you are looking for a game for the weekend, Behold the Kickmen is highly recommended.

I played the game on Nintendo Switch. Behold the Kickmen is also available on Steam and Linux.




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Matt Jarvis
Matt Jarvis
I am a Spurs fan of over 30 years and have written match reviews and articles intermittently over the past 5 years. I’m a passionate walker and wildlife lover, enjoy walking, astronomy, video gaming, reading, photography and writing including poetry and short stories. I live with my partner, Ellen and Staffie Buddy in the Amber Valley of Derbyshire.
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